LOGIC (n.) from Greek 'logikos': 1. Anything posted on this blog. 2. Anything that drives a liberal crazy

Monday, July 31, 2006

Do you want fries with that?

I've written a few times about the dumbing down of America. I had to share this experience with you. Today for lunch, I went to a well-known fast food chain in Mentor. I won't reveal which one, because they've served billions and billions under their golden arches, and I don't want to embarrass them.

I made my order, and the total came to $6.91. Since I hadn't had a chance to get change, all I had was a $50 and two ones. I hate ones, so I gave the girl (16, maybe) $52, looking for even change. ($45.09, of course) She said, "out of $7? Your change is 9 cents." I politely said, "No, ma'am, I gave you $52." She looked down and said, "Oh! I thought this was a $5!".

"OK, your change is, um, well..........Crystal??"

"I thought he gave me $7, and he gave me $52."

Crystal hands the two ones back to me. "The total was $6.91 sir. All we need is the $50."

I patiently explained my dislike for singles, and asked for $45.09 back.

"OK, hold on." Crystal turns around to a blank piece of paper, writes for the better part of 90 seconds, and says, "Alright sir, your change is $44.19." I said, "I'm sorry, I came up with $45.09."

"David????", whines Crystal, "can you bring a caculator up here?". While waiting for David, I said to Crystal, "If you add $6.91 and $45.09, you get $52, so it should be $45.09."

"I know, but I want to ask the manager." OK, I understand......they don't want to get scammed.

"No, look", I say. If you add 9 cents to 91 cents, you get $1, right?"


"So add $1 and $6, and you get $7, right?"


"Then add $45, and you get $52, right?"

"Yes, but hold on."

At this point, the original cashier butts in and says, "Let me add it." She proceeds to spend a minute subtracting to tell me, "I'm sorry sir, I was wrong. Your change is $54.09."


Anyway, the manager came out with a calculator and proved me correct, at which point I looked at Crystal and said, "Sorry for the confusion....I just want to make sure it's right. I understand you don't want to get scammed."
She replied, "That's not it. I just was sure I was right." ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

American Dumbness Indicator for July 31, 2006: 47

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

MURDER, er, Stem-Cell Research

So I'm sure you've heard that King Bush used his veto power for the first time in office today. It's about time. I hope he uses it more. This issue, in particular though, is great. Although Bush could be doing more, it's a start, at least.

I'm sure you know all about the much-debated stem-cell research. We're speaking here of Embryonic stem-cells, as opposed to adult stem-cells or umbilical/placental blood. ESC's come from "left-overs" -- failed attempts at InVitro Fertilization, or from murdered babies "donated for science".

Proponents of ESC's claim that we can "cure terrible diseases" with the research stemming from ESC's. (Pardon the pun) The thing is, we already have cured some with ASC and UPB. Check out this article for a more complete explanation.

The point is, the backers are really just promoting a way to keep abortions going. They use junk science to make it sound important, and to condemn those who oppose it. "What gives yoooooooooou the right to decide who gets cured??!?!!?! You cold-hearted racist, sexist, bigot, homophobe!! This woman donated the aborted thing for science!! It's her choice."

In celebration of the pseudo-science of the abortionists, I present to you:

LuvGlock's 5 Highly Scientifically-Valid Infalliable Truths

1. Carrots are deadly. Everyone who has had a heart attack, gotten into a horrible car accident, been murdered, or otherwise died has had carrots. Therefore, carrots are deadly.

2. Fire is a living organism. Fire exhibits all five properties of life. the ability to take in energy and convert it, the ability to reproduce (just put a piece of wood in a fire for a while, then take it out), the ability to produce waste (ash), The ability to respond to stimuli (give it water, and it will respond by dying) and the ability to grow. Therefore fire is alive.

3. All "freeze-babies" have anorexia. Anorexia is not eating, and not eating eventually produces a decrease in body temperature. Therefore, all cold people have anorexia.

4. It was cooler today than yesterday. Therefore global warming has reversed.

5. If you enjoy this blog, you are extremely intelligent. Only intelligent people can enjoy my blog.

Until next time.......

Monday, July 10, 2006

Reparations!! (WARNING: Political Correctness Level: 0)

To my great-great grandchildren:

I want you to know that I was sorely oppressed by the black people in the early part of the 2nd millenium. You should DEMAND reparations from the black people of your time. Most especially (actually, exclusively) the liberals, such as those at the NAA(L)CP, who made me suffer through their complaining about being in slavery over 100 years earlier. (I refused to pay one red cent, since my ancestors came from Greece and Germany, and did not enslave blacks.)

However, you should see that their liberal logic was right, and now demand some compensation from *them* for making me listen to the whining. After all, it's only right when it benefits *you*!

With love,

The son of your father's father's father's father's father